Our Inspiration
Doris Elizabeth Prouty, a life to be honored
On October 1, 2020, Doris Elizabeth Prouty, passed away at the age of 73.
We have started the Doris Prouty Foundation as a way to honor the unique life and spirit of this amazing person, and to foster the spread of the values and spirit that she embodied.
No words on a page could describe our dearest Doris. Loving wife and partner, mother, grandmother, sister, auntie, cousin, friend. The First and Only, Dot, Lady Do, Special One, The Queen, confidant, counselor, trickster, teacher, artist, emotional genius…
Doris was beloved by many, as a person who helped people to be themselves, to connect with each other, to play, to do great things, and to not take life too seriously.
Doris was born in New York on April 5th, 1947, to Ila Vivian Hayes Richardson and James Edward Richardson, fifth of eleven siblings. She was daddy’s favorite Little Dot. Her parents moved from Durham, NC to New York City in search of work like so many other African Americans in 1941. They left a network of family, but eventually found a vibrant multiracial community in the Queensbridge housing project, when Doris was two. She told of running between apartments as a kid to visit friends of all ethnicities and religions, and became the favorite of their neighbor Miss Allen.
In 1966, Doris and Dick met as Vista Volunteers (Volunteers in Service to America). On April 6th, 1968, in a small family wedding in a church on the Lower East Side of Manhattan, they began what was to become a 52 year marriage, which was newly legal, thanks to the Loving decision of June 12, 1967.
They settled in the community of Lanesville in Gloucester, MA in 1972. Dick became a teacher in Manchester, and later Director of Project Adventure, and Doris ran the Purple Playschool out of their house. Doris quickly became a fixture in the community, and an anchor to multiple generations of Lanesville young people.
She was a member of ‘the women’s group’: 11 women who met (and continue to meet) weekly, beginning in 1971. This group of dear friends deliberates over troubles large and small, supports one another in all ways, marks milestones, celebrates at almost any excuse, and has been there for one another for 50 years. Doris exemplified what it meant to be a friend, to see others, and to help them see themselves and connect to each other.
Once her two eldest kids began school, Doris became a student again herself in 1978, receiving her bachelor’s degree in Social Work from the University of Massachusetts in Boston. She was the first person in her family to receive a college degree, after which she worked in public schools with at-risk students, and later as a parenting group leader at a local non-profit, working with women to strengthen their relationships with their children.
In her work life, Doris was always an advocate for the most vulnerable among us. She was responsible for a great many people finding their way in tough times, by understanding that they were worthy of love, her love, and the respect of the community.
Doris’ daughter Laura, born in August of 1981, and became a central figure in Doris’s life. Laura had severe brain damage, caused by a seizure disorder that started in her first month of life and could not be controlled. She died as she lived – full of grace, love, strength and beauty. During her life, Laura taught us about bravery, consciousness, acceptance, and love. She changed Doris’ life forever, in the most difficult ways. But ones that helped her unleash her exuberance and love.
After Laura was born, and then placed in a pediatric nursing home in Groton, MA., Doris became even more giving and loving. She wrote in her journal, on the one year anniversary of Laura’s birthday, that:
“I have decided that Laura is just super special. She lifts me up and lets me down. She grounds me in reality…. And… lets me soar in fantasy. She gives me ideas of things to do for others.”
Doris used the tremendous admiration she felt for Laura’s spirit and for her caregivers’ dedication, as an inspiration to show increasing love for the people in her life and community.
As her other two kids, Ila & Seth, became teenagers, Doris made her first log cabin quilt together with her sister Carolyn and has been quilting ever since. They were founding members of the Ebony Quilters Guild of Queens, New York, and showed their quilts around the world. Self-taught, she never stopped making quilts. Over the decades, she evolved from sewing simple block patterns to composing elaborate applique scenes. She became a master of her craft, but also the quilter in her community, giving quilts to charity, supporting wedding projects, and making baby quilts.
The giving of her quits to others became a source of showing love to her friends. So, many quilts were given on birthdays, or special occasions, or just because someone liked the quilt a lot. Doris so enjoyed showing love to others, then in enjoying seeing the gifts of quilts and love made others happier and more successful.
In recent years, Doris and Dick transformed their ‘empty nest’ into a home for students from China to attend high school in the United States at the Waring School. Doris encouraged these students to be their best and introduced them to her particular brand of American culture.
One Waring student who was with Dick and Doris for four years was Peter Zhao. Although a handsome and bright young man, Peter did not think he was attractive, largely because of being of darker color for a Chinese, and being teased brutally in his middle school in China for his color. Doris worked relentlessly on this issue with Peter, telling him how handsome he was and how much she loved him. Peter grew tremendously in confidence and ability to express his own emotions during his time with Doris and Dick
Beyond these details, Doris was gifted in making everyone feel special, able to trust and feel open with her, say anything to her, and realize elemental things about their lives. She could see into people, recognize what they needed to succeed, and say exactly what needed to be said. She was deeply empathetic, and generous with her love and her time, giving to all who were in need, whether they knew it or not. And she was masterful in finding the humor and irony in the many challenges of daily life for us all. Doris was magical and the world is a more magical place for all who knew and loved her.
Please join us in honoring Doris’s life, learning lessons from it, and putting them into practice in all the ways we are able.
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Ilasahai Prouty, Seth Prouty and Dick Prouty